'Tis the Season

What better time to bitch about being single than during the holidays. I still can’t believe the season already is upon us. All those commercials with snow and Santas and that sing-songy "every kiss begins with Kay" I can never get out of my head seem a bit surreal to me right now.

I’ve never been a real big holiday person to begin with, but I have to admit, I’ve crept deeper and deeper into "I hate the holidays" mode ever since my last serious relationship ended about four years ago--til now this year where I’m just completely dreading them. Sigh. And I’m not even quite sure why. Luckily, I don’t have one of those families that bombards me with embarrassing questions at holiday functions about my dating life or why am I still single. It sounds silly and delusional, but I guess it’s just this romantic fantasy I have that, say, Christmas, for example, will be as cozy and euphoric--snowy on the outside, but warm by the fire on the inside --as all those TV commercials, if only I had someone to share it with. Not to mention that at this point it feels like I should be celebrating the holidays with my own family, a husband and children, rather than still sitting around the tree with my parents on Christmas morning.

Thanksgiving today was relatively painless ... very quiet and low-key, just my parents and my brother and my mom’s kick-ass turkey and stuffing. Some holidays are easier to get through than others, in terms of being uncoupled, but I can’t really think of a holiday where it’s really better to be single, where they write articles like "How to Get Through the XXX Holiday If You're Married." (Side Note: I hate all those condescending articles about being single and getting through the holidays.) On New Year’s Eve, you want someone to kiss at midnight. Valentine’s Day goes without saying. Fourth of July, there’s just something so romantic about sitting in the dark watching fireworks light up the sky. Halloween’s one that’s actually been good to me in my single years ... I actually met my two longest relationships (Lumberjack in the City and The Drunky Irishman) at Halloween parties. It’s tricky though because you have to find a costume that’s cute (no one wants to make out with a girl wearing green face paint and a fake witch nose) without being too slutty (i.e., any costume Paris Hilton’s been photographed in over the last several years, like the "sexy" police officer or the chambermaid who’s skirt is so short, she can’t bend over lest you see her feather duster). When I met Lumberjack, I was one of those "Austin Powers girls" with the white go-go boots and a cute vintage 60s-style dress. When I met Drunky, I was a tennis player. This year I just stayed home.

So I know I should be making some sort of effort to "get the most out of the holidays," but right now I just feel like hibernating for the winter.